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Introductory Ramble

(Warning: Long! Because apparently I'm incapable of shutting up. And with obnoxiously longer end notes!! Because apparently I miss grad school way more than I thought.)

Last Saturday night, I found myself in the position of really, really wanting to leave a comment on someone else's Live Journal. Enough so that I started my own (which maybe you don't need to do, but I wasn't sure.) I wasn't planning on doing anything else with it, though it seemed kind of lame to leave it empty...and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had to say something. Because of the name. (1)

See, in the last 2 months or so, I've stumbled into a whole world of stories, drawn from a show I'd never even watched, and this has somehow reset all my parameters (2). I'm a lurker by nature, despite being very happily married to a woman who's a web geek both by trade and vocation (3). She's constantly after me to blog or twitter and the fact that I won't play Scrabble with her on Facebook is the bane of her existence. (Seriously? I know there are grown-ups all over Facebook, her included, but I just turned 38 and the very idea makes me feel OLD.)

I know it's kind of a drain of the whole fanfic economy if all you do is read and never leave any feedback, but I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that it would be safe to comment. Because a lot of what I read...well, I've tried to learn not to make apologies for it (in my own head, anyway—it's not like I usually tell people.) But bad things tend to happen in these stories—and then, well, it's not like anybody gets fixed, but in the ones I like, folks do get taken care of, and for me, that's even better.

I will follow you into serious darkness if there's even a promise of that moment when somebody realizes they can, in fact, still feel cherished by the right touch. (And, boy, is this fandom all over that.)  Not to go into details, but let's just say I was finding more affirmation in these stories than I've ever managed to get out of the abuse/trauma recovery lit I talk myself into buying every decade or so. (I once had a clerk say, “Oh, I feel so bad when anyone buys these books” while I was standing there trying to pay her.)

So when I finally got brave enough to want to let someone know how much I was getting from her work, I thought maybe I should get just a little braver, and actually stake my claim, just in case anyone wandered over to look.

I'm not sure how soon I'll be back (4), or what else I might talk about (5), but at least now I have a way of letting other writers know how amazing I find what they're able to share, even if we won't know each other on the stairs. (6)


(1) OK, the lyric is actually “story to story” not “story by story”, but close enough. (Um, I'm not going to tell you how long I spent trying to find a name that wasn't taken for a place I wasn't sure I was ever going to post anything. Because that would be crazy.)

(2) Supernatural. And I've now Netflixed the first 2 seasons and am trying to stay unspoiled for the end of season 3, even though I YouTubed most of the pre-strike stuff before I realized I was going to care...I mean, shows without a strong, central female character are just usually way off my radar.

(3) Just to be clear, she's a girl and so am I. As it happens, we live in Boston, but plenty of people we love don't and I've been to their ceremonies and I don't consider them any less married than us. Though it has been fun watching folks who don't share that sentiment have to suck it up when I get to use that word in every damn sense there is.

(4) Though going by last night's American Idol, I might need to get my rant on—I've never watched the “final 2” before, do they usually repeat songs? Seems kind of anticlimactic to me...I didn't actually think either David hit it out of the park, but I've already bought Cook's music, which is more than I can say for any other Idol (winner or hopeful) so far. I was kind of hoping he might try some INXS, which I wouldn't say about just anybody. (At all. I know it's unfair to the rest of the band, but that whole find-us-a-new-singer bit just didn't happen in my universe.) Plus, it's baseball season. That's always good for a rant or twelve. I'm a Mets girl first and foremost, but the Sox are a pretty close second. And when it comes to the Series, I can always find someone to root for (well, not in '96. I do have some standards.)

(5)I know catblogging is a venerable tradition...our 2 are named after kickass scifi chicks. And I'm sorry to say we've totally latched onto the idea of naming the next 2 after the Doctor's most recent companions, which would be so cool, except that it also means they'd be named after our maternal grandmothers.

(6) If you don't know the song, you can find it here.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 11th, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC)
"I will follow you into darkness" is such a perfect succinct explanation, I copied it onto my blog--hope that's OK with you.
[sorry if this posts twice--I got a failed message the 1st time]
Jul. 12th, 2008 06:15 am (UTC)
Y'know, I saw this comment earlier and thought, sure, it's fine.

But I didn't actually understand what you meant, and now that I've had a moment to go look, that would've been woefully inadequate, because yay, I feel very flattered!

I've been avidly reading your most recent K/S posts (especially your musing on h/c) and thinking about what more I might like to say about fanfic, but it's a little daunting, because it seems like there's years worth of stuff already out there and I've only been following the conversation for the last 2 seconds and so should catch up some before mouthing off.

I need to get on it, though, because the actual webgeek in the house does not read fanfic. Really does not get why anyone reads fanfic. Really, truly does not get how my reading fanfic has improbably led to her having to spend Thursday nights watching 2 boys evade a veritable army of pursuers despite driving the world's most identifiable car. (I could watch 'em without her, but where would be the fun in that?)

The demands for explanation have been fierce.

Jul. 20th, 2008 05:18 pm (UTC)
I just got back to read this, and am relieved and pleased that you like your quote on my blog, because now I want to say thank you again--I just used the phrase "serious darkness" in my lastest (4th!) fanvid "Star Trek, My Love."

Because these vids are so short (this one's 2:26) and go so fast, I trim the words to the absolute minimum, but the phrase "serious darkness," long as it is, is worth it because it packs such a punch.
I tip my hat to you.

And I'm glad you are enjoying my blog. I like yours too! And I too am new to the fanfic world, having paid NO attention to this stuff since I was a teenager. But it all makes perfect sense to me, both as I was then and as I am now. World without end. Amen.

(P.S. Sorry, I'm not sure who you mean about the 2 guys--Starsky and Hutch come to mind...)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )